|
When Mary first broached the subject of taking
a Disney cruise, I was hesitant. Then she mentioned that the
trip would be Disney's first 14-night repositioning cruise from
Florida to California via the Panama Canal. Two weeks at sea
with a bunch of rabid Disney fans, far from land… but still
the idea intrigued me. So I told her to sign us up for it.
There was also a bit of serendipity in the choice,
as our fifth wedding anniversary would occur during the cruise.
Since it was our honeymoon at Walt Disney World that prompted
Mary's creation of MouseSavers.com,
it seemed like a fitting thing to do.
Meanwhile we found ourselves with the opportunity
to cruise with some of my family on the Holland America Line
(HAL) ship Zaandam, just two months before our Disney Magic
repositioning cruise. Since we would be taking these two cruises
through the Caribbean in a very similar stateroom category in
roughly the same time frame, we decided that it would be a perfect
opportunity to directly compare the two cruise lines.
In terms of price and quality, HAL is probably
the cruise line closest to Disney Cruise Line (DCL) in the market.
The major difference between the two cruise lines is demographics.
DCL attracts a much younger clientele than HAL and a much more
family-oriented demographic as well. On the three HAL cruises
we've taken so far, the number of children onboard probably
numbered less then 100 per trip. Usually the DCL ships sail
with about 2600 passengers, including around 1000 kids.
However, our 14-night westbound Panama Canal cruise
on the Disney Magic had an unusual group of passengers (in more
ways than one). The vast majority were adult couples traveling
without kids. On this sailing, while the staterooms were almost
all full, there were typically only 2 adult passengers in each,
instead of the usual 4 passengers (2 adults, 2 kids). The upshot
is that our May 14, 2005 sailing had only about 1700 passengers,
including an estimated 300 children.
Jump to:
General
Ship Appearance and Layout
The Disney Magic is distinctive and attractive.
With her black hull, white upper works and bright red stacks,
she does stand out and is a nice contrast with the usual white-on-white
color scheme many of the other cruise lines use.
The Magic's interior is beautiful. The entire
ship is decorated in Art Deco style (her sister ship, the Wonder,
has an Art Nouveau décor). The appointments overall are
high quality and the general finish and appearance of the ship
are superior to any HAL ship we have sailed on. The most appealing
feature of the Magic's décor is the way it is incorporated
throughout the ship. Most cruise ships in our experience are
attractive enough, but there is a certain blandness that is
typical of a upper-end hotel and does not evoke any further
feelings than… nice.
The layout of the DCL ships is a little different
from that of other cruise ships. HAL ships, for instance, have
a single, huge main dining room that is usually two decks high.
The DCL ships have several dining rooms scattered throughout
the ship, each on a single level.
A primary difference between DCL ships and almost
all other cruise ships is the lack of a casino. Disney feels
(rightly, in my opinion) that gambling and the Disney name would
be a poor fit. There is family bingo offered on Disney ships,
and that's it.
Also, unlike other cruise lines, Disney has also
created areas for adults only, where lounges, bars and entertainment
venues are located. Disney cruise ships have a total of three
pools on the upper decks: one for small children, one for families
and one for adults. For the most part the age group divisions
seemed to have been honored. The pools seemed clean and well-maintained.
All of the furniture in the public areas of the
Magic is comfortable and of excellent quality. The same goes
for the accoutrements in the dining rooms and the bars. The
deck furniture was in remarkably good shape and cleaned daily.
Dining
Options
The DCL ships have a plethora of dining facilities.
Unlike other cruise lines, on Disney there is no main dining
room. Instead there are a total of three dining rooms. In the
case of the Magic these are Lumiere's, Animator's Palate and
Parrot Cay. Every night diners go to a different dining room
depending on what rotation they have been assigned. For instance,
you might start the first night in Lumiere's, the second in
Animator's Palate and the third in Parrot Cay. On the fourth
night you would be back in Lumiere's to start the rotation again.
Lumiere's is the 'formal' dining room. It is rather
similar to the main dining rooms on many other cruise ships,
though smaller of course. Animator's Palate is the 'show' restaurant,
with Disney character sketches and framed pictures filling the
walls. The artwork changes color as the evening progresses.
Finally, Parrot Cay is the tropical 'casual' restaurant decorated
in a Caribbean theme.
Along with the three main dining rooms, there
are several other dining venues. Foremost for many people is
Topsider's Buffet. Like the Lido Buffet on HAL ships, Topsider's
offers casual buffet dining for breakfast and lunch and a casual
full service dinner with a somewhat smaller menu than what is
offered the main dining rooms.
The prestige restaurant on the Magic is Palo,
a more intimate dining room with a Northern Italian theme. It
serves brunch, dinner and high tea and seating is available
through reservation only. On a typical cruise most guests can
hope at best to get one reservation each for a dinner and brunch,
though passengers in concierge-serviced accommodations (suites)
can make additional reservations.
Finally on the upper deck of the Magic there are
the 'fast food' options - a hamburger stand that also serves
tacos, hot dogs and the like, a pizzeria and an ice cream bar.
We tried several different items on different occasions and
felt that in contrast with the culinary offerings elsewhere
on the ship the 'fast food' was remarkably mediocre. Kids may
like it, but this is the one area of food service on the ship
that left us consistently dissatisfied.
Breakfast
Breakfast is served in Topsider's, Parrot Cay,
and Lumiere's. The breakfast in Lumiere's is full-service and
usually includes a couple of things you won't find elsewhere,
such as French toast and banana pancakes. The food quality is
quite good. In this dining room at breakfast you are randomly
seated at a table with other people.
Topsider's offers a full breakfast buffet with
the usual suspects. The buffet doesn't change much from day
to day, other than offering a different flavor of scrambled
eggs each morning in addition to plain scrambled eggs, and one
other changing hot item. Every day you have the identical fruit
selections, bacon, sausage links, steam table pancakes (which
in Mary's opinion were nearly inedible), Mickey waffles with
the same toppings, etc.
Overall we felt the buffet breakfasts were a mixed
bag. The bacon was very thin and crisp, while the overcooked
and shriveled link sausages were better left alone. Every morning
there was decent lox, served with capers, sliced tomatoes and
diced red onions. The bagels were - well, edible. Covered with
lox, cream cheese and all the other accoutrements they were,
well, edible.
Parrot Cay is sort of a combination of Lumiere's
and Topsider's. It is a breakfast buffet but you are seated
at a table with others and wait staff brings juice and coffee.
The only real difference between the breakfasts at Parrot Cay
and Topsider's is that the former usually has relatively fresh
Eggs Benedict while the latter does not. The food quality seemed
identical between the two buffets.
We felt Disney should make an effort to differentiate
the two buffets to a greater extent. Specifically, we would
like to see some higher-end offerings in Parrot Cay, such as
eggs cooked to order at breakfast (in addition to the existing
omelet station) and/or a stir-fry station or sandwich bar at
lunch. That would make DCL more competitive with other cruise
lines in the same category.
Lunch
Lunches are served in the same three restaurants:
Lumiere's, Topsiders, and Parrot Cay. Lumiere's offers a full-service
lunch. The menu offers several appetizers, salads and soups
as well as four or five entrees. A burger is always one of the
lunch options on the Lumiere's menu.
The Topsiders/ Parrot Cay lunch menus are essentially
identical to each other. Both offer a different theme every
day, like Asian, Italian, French, Mexican, and so on. There
is always a station where you can order the specialty of the
day, often cooked to order. One day it might be sushi, another
day stir-fried noodles. We enjoyed several of the buffet lunches
very much, particularly the Mediterranean lunch with items like
Moroccan beef tagine, cold tapas and a made-to-order paella
station.
Buffet lunch quality on the Magic is comparable
to Holland America's Lido Buffet, though HAL's selection is
better, with more made-to-order items available. HAL also offers
a daily sandwich bar, which DCL does not do normally. The layout
of Topsiders was very convenient, with four serving lines. We
never waited in line at all for the buffet. HAL's ships have
only two buffet lines, frequently making for long waits.
Desserts are much better on Disney Cruise Line
than on Holland America. HAL's desserts are pretty terrible,
consisting primarily of bland cakes cut in different patterns
and covered with different-colored but virtually identical-tasting
frosting. DCL's desserts are varied and usually excellent. Typically
there would be excellent chocolate chip cookies, one hot dessert
(rice pudding or cobbler) and at least a half-dozen very different
cakes and pies.
We did wish DCL would make its buffet dessert
portions smaller. They were too large to justify eating multiple
desserts, but many passengers, naturally turning into piggies
when they found themselves on a ship full of unlimited free
food, insisted on trying anyway. We saw a lot of big chunks
of uneaten dessert being tossed in the garbage. Both we and
our lunchtime dining companions frequently wished we could have
tried several desserts in smaller portions.
Dinner
I like the idea of rotating among the three restaurants.
There are a couple of advantages to DCL's "rotational dining"
approach. First, it provides variety, which is always good as
far as I'm concerned. Second, each seating is now divided into
three different rooms, so there are fewer people in each dining
room. This gives it a slightly more intimate feel. On HAL ships
the main dining room is huge and the crowd noise can sometimes
get overwhelming.
Dinners on the Magic were roughly comparable in
quality with Holland America. Dinner menus invariably had four
appetizers, four soups or salads, and five entrees. In addition,
if something didn't appeal from the main menu, there were always
three standard entrees from the grill menu (plain chicken, fish
or steak) as well as two vegetarian entrees, which actually
sounded quite good. There were at least two times during the
cruise when I regretted not taking the veggie option.
The dessert menu always had four standard desserts
as well as two or three low fat/low sugar options. I thought
the desserts were okay, though I'm probably the last person
who should be making any judgments on them since I'm not a "dessert
person." (Mary says she married me despite this failing.)
One night early in the cruise I told our server
I wanted nothing for dessert - just some coffee. The dining
room head server, who was a real ball of energy from Bulgaria,
came over to try and convince me that I needed dessert. When
I insisted I really wanted nothing, she brought me a white plate
with the word "nothing" written across it in chocolate
- plus two desserts. I ate some of both, because I was a little
scared of the Tiger Lady, as I came to call her. And from then
on, I made sure to order dessert whether I wanted any or not!
(Actually the head server was very charming, and
the whole joke with the multiple desserts was fun - not to mention
miles better interaction than any similar situation we've ever
experienced with a Holland America crew member.)
On the DCL ships, you can order standard drink
options such as water, iced tea or soda with your meals and
pay no additional charges, unlike HAL, which charges extra for
soda.
For a reasonable cost you can also order wines
by the glass or the bottle, or buy a wine package. On the Panama
Canal cruise we were offered a wine package that included seven
bottles of wine from either a standard menu or a deluxe menu.
Befitting our reputations as souses, we went with the deluxe
wine package, yet despite our usual prowess at consuming alcoholic
beverages we ended up taking a bottle of wine home. I'm still
puzzled about that - I think the service staff miscounted. But
I was drinking, so what do I know?
The dinner menu conveniently had a wine pairing
with each of the entrees so you could order a single glass if
you wanted. The menu also listed the standard selections of
wines - around six or seven white and an equal number of red
selections, as well as about three sparkling wines/champagnes.
We found no problematic wines on the list and there were several
that we thought were excellent and well-priced. On our 14-night
cruise DCL gladly supplied any of the wines we chose, unlike
HAL, which in the course of a 7-night cruise managed to run
out of at least two of the wines we ordered.
Overall, the Magic's food quality was good, and
in some cases very good. One exception was red meat, which was
almost always overcooked. Mary said she wondered if someone
in the kitchen was worried about E. coli and therefore cooking
everything half to death. Overcooked meat is a common problem
in cruise ship dining rooms, due to the banquet-style preparation.
When the meat has to be prepared in advance in large batches
and then kept under a heat lamp or in a steam tray, it continues
to cook. However, it's possible to do better than DCL managed
on this cruise. On our last HAL cruise, the meat was perfectly
cooked every time.
Strangely enough the one exception was a steak
salad in which the sirloin strips were perfectly medium rare.
However, by the second week I ended up mostly avoiding red meat
and sticking with fish and fowl. The fish was usually quite
good.
The appetizers were mostly good, but occasionally
we ended up with something that was overcooked or had been sitting
too long under a heat lamp. Hot shrimp dishes seemed to suffer
the most from this problem, while cold shrimp dishes were fine.
The salads were uniformly very good, with a nice
selection of greens and tasty dressings that were almost always
variations on vinaigrettes. (You could get a ranch or blue cheese
dressing substitution if you wanted.) The soups were usually
pretty good with both a hot and a cold soup generally offered
every night. The quality of the baked goods was good (not great)
and there was lots of variety, with everything from french bread
and rolls to cornbread and banana bread being offered at one
time or another.
Dining
Service
The serving staff on DCL is much more personable
and friendly then on HAL. This is due to two factors. First,
it's apparent that DCL requires a certain minimum familiarity
with English for all staff who will deal directly with passengers.
That doesn't seem to be the case on HAL. Therefore the DCL staff
is more comfortable engaging passengers in conversation.
Second, Disney has instituted a policy called
Aggressive Hospitality, which appears to mean the cast members
tackle people and when they have them on the ground they ask
insistently if they are having a good time. If they aren't having
a good time guests are kept pinned to the floor until they admit
they are. Especially recalcitrant passengers may be plied with
cold alcoholic beverages.
Actually, what Aggressive Hospitality does seem
to mean is that crew members are supposed to engage guests in
conversation while making eye contact, rather then just serving
the food or drinks or picking up towels. This goes a long way
towards differentiating DCL from the other cruise lines. For
instance, at Palo we encountered no fancy-restaurant stuffy
"attitude" - just friendly, attentive and exceptionally
warm service. One server even hugged Mary as we were leaving.
Apparently she must have left him a very nice tip.
Room
Service
We tried room service (aka "In-Stateroom
Dining") several times. Average delivery was thirty minutes
from the time we called. The DCL room service menu is significantly
more limited than on HAL. Most of the selections are the same
basic grill items you can get by going up to Deck 9 - pizza,
hamburger, hot dog, tuna sandwich.
There are a few items on the room service menu
that you can't get upstairs, such as the cheese and fruit plate.
We ordered it one evening along with a couple of drinks, and
enjoyed the view from our verandah while we munched on a very
nice selection of cheeses (at least 6 varieties), crackers,
some walnuts and a couple of small bunches of grapes.
We used the door hang tag to pre-order both the
standard cold Continental breakfast (baked goods, cold cereal,
juices and coffee) as well as the full hot breakfast (available
only to those in Category 1, 2 or 3 suites, or as a one-time
offering for those on the Romantic
Escape at Sea package). In both cases we received a call
letting us know the food was on its way, which is very nice
for morning deliveries, since it functions as a wake-up call
and gives you a few minutes to throw on something decent. The
food was delivered exactly at the requested time. The breakfast
items were equivalent in quality to the offerings on the buffets.
One port morning we didn't use the breakfast hang
tag, but instead called at 9:30 am and requested not only two
items listed on the hang tag (orange juice and muffins) but
also an item that was not listed (a container of yogurt). The
pleasant woman answering the room service line said "we
don't normally supply yogurt in room service, but I'll ask the
guys and see what they can do." We were told the food would
arrive in 25-30 minutes. Ten minutes later, a server showed
up at the door with all three items, including the yogurt.
We know that other passengers have successfully
ordered Mickey ice cream bars from room service even though
they are not listed on the menu. So while I wouldn't push this
too far, if you want some small, easy-to-grab item that is always
offered on the buffets (such as a banana), but that is not listed
specifically on the room service menu, it's worth asking. If
they accommodate you, be sure to tip well.
On another port day we didn't get back from our
excursion until 3:00, so we missed lunch. Mary picked up the
phone and ordered a tuna sandwich for herself and an individual
four-cheese pizza for me. Both the items were pretty mediocre,
but we were hot and tired and it saved us a trip up to Deck
9. In short, the free room service is convenient, but that's
about it. I think the best use of it is for breakfast on port
days (it's quick and provides a wake-up call) or if you're in
the mood for something "extra" like cookies and milk
at bedtime, or cheese and crackers with a drink on the verandah.
My
Home Away from Home - The Lounges and Bars
I frankly expected the onboard variety of establishments
catering to those of us with a yen for frosty, cold alcoholic
beverages to be lacking. I was pleasantly surprised. Altogether,
passengers have a choice of six venues where they can find a
glass of frothy, hoppy goodness - or other, less appealing cocktails.
In the order with which I hit them every day…
Oh, not really. Not even I could hit all six bars every single
day, so the order is actually based on how much I liked them:
Signals
This typical cruise ship upper deck outdoors bar
is located next to the adult pool and has limited seating. It's
usually quite exposed to the sun to later in the day, which
makes it nice if you're catching some rays and want to keep
your electrolyte levels up.
Rockin' Bar D
Rockin' Bar D is the dance club venue. It hosted
variety acts with performers from the live shows most nights.
This bar is also where you can go to get your late-night karaoke
fix. Naturally we avoided it like the plague.
To be honest, we never actually patronized Rockin'
Bar D other than attending an olive oil and balsamic vinegar
tasting in there one afternoon, and sitting through a few painful
minutes of "easy listening music" during a Captain's
cocktail party for repeat cruisers. It doesn't really get going
till after 9:00 pm. Since we had late seating and we're old,
we were pretty much ready for a quiet evening of listening to
our neighbors through the stateroom wall after dinner.
Promenade Lounge
This is the probably the second largest bar onboard
and is located on the same deck as Lumiere's and Parrot Cay.
We sat in here and had a drink on embarkation day and basically
never went back. The problem for us is that we actually like
to talk to each other when we're having a drink (I know, quite
strange - I attribute it to the alcohol). The act that was booked
for this lounge most evenings was a duet with a female singer
who was, at least as far as I'm concerned, much too loud. I
never felt comfortable here and wish instead of the Vegas lounge
act they had gone more for a jazzy torch singer act. This is
also where the majority of the Internet terminals were located,
so there was always some activity going on here.
Diversions
I liked Diversions, the sports bar venue. It has
a rather familiar setup with several TVs scattered around the
bar and a foozball table or two. The drawback to this bar is
that it was also the main location for game tournaments and
activities like beer tastings. If you're trying to catch a game
on TV it can be a little frustrating when a Monopoly tournament
is scheduled in the bar in the middle of the game.
We didn't spend much time here because 1) Mary
isn't really a sports bar type of gal and 2) I'm basically only
interested in college football - and only marginally at that
- so I'm not really a sports bar type of guy.
Cove Café
The Cove Café is kind of tied as my favorite
with Sessions. The Cove is the smallest bar onboard, although
there is significantly more seating outside on the deck where
all the smokers congregate. The espresso machine is located
in the Cove Café, so it's where everyone comes for a
caffeine fix.
In addition they have a full bar, snacks, a small
magazine collection, what passes for a library (truly pathetic
- multiple copies of maybe 20 different best-sellers), a large
screen television with CNN on 24/7, and four internet terminals.
And as an added bonus they offer a pretty nice selection of
cigars in the evening.
Overall the Cove Café has pretty much everything
I need to survive in the harsh environment that is the sea.
If they had some more indoor seating I'd probably never leave.
Sessions
Sessions tied with the Cove as my favorite. I
like everything about Sessions, which is outfitted as an Art
Deco bar from the 30's and 40's. The décor is outstanding,
very much in theme with the rest of the ship. In the evenings
there is a pianist who offers jazz stylings and occasionally
some singers for accompaniment. We loved the wait staff in here.
The only complaint we had about Sessions was that
the bar staff supervision was remarkably unobservant. Like clockwork
most evenings the bar would become packed between 7:30 and 8:30
as people came down for a drink before dinner, after the early
show, or after the early seating while waiting for the late
show. With seating for 50-60 people this is really an intolerable
load for one bartender to handle. Yet not once did it occur
to a supervisor to send a bartender or even a bar back to help
out with the load during this period. In a couple of cases we
had to wait for 20-25 minutes after we placed our orders to
receive our drinks. Nothing makes Mikey crankier then having
to wait on a beer.
The
Stateroom
Ever seen that movie The Cube where people
are trapped in a room that is, amazingly enough, a cube? Cruise
ship cabins are something like that, though without the evisceration
equipment behind random doors.
I'm kind of a fan of cruise ship cabins. I am
amazed at the ingenuity of fitting in all the amenities people
expect from a decent hotel room into a space little bigger then
the bathroom in your average Holiday Inn. It would be a perfect
final qualifying test for a design engineer - well, if they
weren't all designing cell phone faces for Nokia. In any case,
while I admire the cleverness displayed in fitting drawers in
every available nook, I find that after a while I have an overwhelming
desire to get out of the room because the walls seem to be closing
in.
Anyhow, Disney Cruise Line staterooms are certainly
up to standard as far as décor and efficiency is concerned.
I'd class them as slightly better than HAL's staterooms. In
our Category 6 (Deluxe Outside with Verandah) stateroom there
were two quite nicely sized closets just inside the door. One
was somewhat smaller because the safe was located within. That
became my closet for the cruise.
Right across from the twin/queen beds was a chest
of drawers that was designed to mimic an upright steamer trunk.
I really like that touch. There were also two other sets of
drawers - one next to the closet and another set in the desk
at the end of the room next to the verandah. So overall, we
had enough storage for the baggage we brought along for two
weeks.
Besides the bed there was a smallish couch which
apparently can be pulled out to make a single bed. In some cabins
there is also a pull-down bunk bed above the sofa. So apparently
a standard stateroom can sleep four to a room. Personally, if
I was forced to share this size cabin with four people there
would either be mysterious disappearances shortly after the
cruise commenced, or the staff would find a hobo-like character
sleeping on chairs in the bar at 4:00 am.
In any case the couch was somewhat the worse for
wear and in need of a cleaning. The bed wasn't so great. This
is the one area where I really feel that Disney let the side
down, because HAL's new upgraded beds and bedding are drastically
better than DCL's.
As on virtually all cruise ships, the bed is actually
composed of two twin beds that can be pushed together to make
a queen size bed. The mattress on my side of the bed was distinctly
substandard - lumpy, squishy and with a noticeable sag in the
middle. (Mary is capable of tolerating and indeed, even liking
much softer mattresses than I can. And yet I still married her.)
The mattress was so bad that by the third day
I was waking up with severe muscle cramps in my lower back.
By the fourth day I was forced to sleep on the couch because
it was the only thing firm enough to support my back. I asked
for and received a back board which was actually an 1/8"
thick piece of plywood that somewhat had obviously ripped in
the ship's machine shop - somewhat inexpertly I might add. But
amazingly it did the job, especially after we put a towel bumper
on the splintery end that projected past the mattress. I slept
the sleep of the 'haven't been caught yet' innocent.
Mary commented that she was very disappointed
in the sheets. DCL has supposedly upgraded the bedding recently
and switched to triple sheeting (bottom sheet, top sheet, blanket,
another top sheet). That's certainly in line with the best hotels
and top cruise lines. However the bottom sheets were distinctly
worse than the top sheets. They either hadn't been upgraded
or were lower quality. The bottom sheets had a tremendous amount
of "pilling" (little fabric bumps like the kind you
get on sweaters). This created an unpleasant sandpapery surface
that Mary found particularly uncomfortable. Since my skin is
kind of sandpapery itself it was pretty much a wash for me.
One additional comment on the beds and I'll leave
the whole subject behind and we'll never speak of it again.
We brought onboard the astounding total of four suitcases. None
of them were K2 expedition size and two were normal rolling
carryon bags. On cruise ships we're accustomed to placing the
bags under the bed where they will be out of the way for the
duration of the voyage. On HAL, for instance, this is easily
done because the beds are high enough to slide all but the very
largest suitcases underneath.
However, on the Magic this was not so easy. I
had to lift one end of the bed while Mary very slowly slid the
bags underneath, asking in a concerned voice if the bed was
too heavy? Naturally she knew that as a man it is against my
constitutional nature to ever declare any such thing, even as
my face swelled and turned an alarming shade of crimson and
tendons were snapping with piano-wire-like twangs.
Leaving the horrors of the bed behind, we proceed
to the bathroom or should I say bathrooms, plural. In an interesting
variation, DCL has split the standard miniscule shipboard stateroom
bathroom into two smaller facilities. One contains the shower
and a sink while the other contains the toilet and a sink. Apparently
this is done either to make the rest of the cabin look spacious
or to drum up business for the ship's doctor as one slices off
various facial appendages while shaving and banging into sharp
cabinet corners and the like.
Actually Mary tells me the purpose of the split
bath is to allow two people to be able to prepare for dinner
or to go out at the same time by giving both a wash basin and
mirror. Since I have been known to restrict personal grooming
to checking to make sure my fly is fastened and gargling with
beer, this is probably a feature that is wasted on yours truly.
Additional comments, observations and (probably)
unjustified bitching:
There is something in each stateroom that is charitably
referred to as a drink cooler. From the design it's apparent
that it was actually designed as a mini-bar. It is not serving
its intended function for unspecified reasons, though I suspect
it's related to the number of children usually found on Disney
ships and their propensity to defeat any and all security measures
that separate them from sugary snacks. As it stands the cooler
is not a proper refrigerator and merely keeps drinks cool. We
feel that space is wasted and could be put to better use, either
as more storage or an actual refrigerator.
We were disappointed in the small (13") television
in our DCL stateroom. HAL recently put in flat screen TVs that
are considerably larger and usually had a better picture. Overall
the quality of the reception in our stateroom was poor. The
program variety is quite good as long as you like ABC, any of
the seemingly infinite number of ESPN channels, Disney animated
features and Disney live action theatrical releases… well,
except for Disney releases that are a bit "adult."
This is understandable on a family cruise line and I'm not going
to complain too much about the lack of movies that focus on
giggling bikini-clad starlets. Let's just say that after 14
nights on the ship, I've memorized the dialogue and music to
Beauty and the Beast.
Entertainment
I hate to start on a down note, but I have to
issue a basketful of demerits to DCL for its inadequate planning
of adult activities for a 14-night cruise. At times it seemed
almost like the crew was surprised that the trip was still going
on after 7 days. I will say that the cruise staff did bounce
back quickly and obviously came up with additional activities
to keep the raging mobs entertained.
One of the major problems, which is one DCL had
obviously not experienced before, was the large number of sea
days. During port days most people will be doing excursions
or wandering around town, etc. and the need for activities to
entertain them is minimal. There was one stretch between Curaçao
and Acapulco where we spent four days at sea. All the planned
activities during that time were standing room only.
Because there were so many adults on this cruise,
almost all of whom were Disney fans and repeat cruisers, DCL
really should have anticipated heavy demand for any type of
event or presentation that would appeal to adults and/or Disney
fans. Yet for some reason, remarkably little was offered in
the afternoons on sea days, particularly in the first week.
We spent many afternoons sitting in our cabin reading or napping,
which was fine with us, but some passengers were pretty restless.
Typically there was one afternoon movie in the
Buena Vista Theatre, but frequently it was a title that would
primarily appeal to children (understandably enough, since the
Oceaneers Club often takes the kids to the afternoon movie).
There was usually also one "adult enrichment" program
each afternoon, such as a very basic cooking or entertaining
program. These were pleasant but crowded and not terribly enlightening
to anyone with any cooking ability. You could also attend wine
or beer tastings for a fee.
We thought it was odd that Sessions (the jazz
piano bar) was never open in the afternoons. There are music
listening stations at each table alongside the portholes in
there, so it would have been nice to have a drink or a coffee,
pop on some headphones and enjoy the view in the afternoon.
Since there was an excellent pianist/vocalist performing every
evening when the bar opened, what was the purpose of having
listening stations?
Several times during the cruise there were presentations
by the likes of Jason Surrell (author and Imagineer) and Tom
McAlpin (President of Disney Cruise Line). Unfortunately, the
crowds showing up for these shows were overwhelming. Mary went
to almost all of them and reported that seating filled up early
and people were standing in the back, or even unable to squeeze
into the venue at all. However, she felt the presentations were
excellent.
To be fair, after noting the huge crowd that turned
out for Jason Surrell's Haunted Mansion talk on the first sea
day, DCL started scheduling any "name" presenters
for two or even three shows per day. Many passengers commented
that the Walt Disney Theater should have been used more often
for daytime presentations of this kind. Unfortunately, the theater
was in use almost around the clock for rehearsals to put the
finishing touches on Twice Charmed, the new show debuting
on our cruise.
All in all, we felt DCL did everything possible
to accommodate passengers who wanted to see the various presenters;
unfortunately space limitations made that difficult at times.
Actually we weren't impacted all that much by
the dearth of adult events because we aren't big on group activities.
Instead I indulged in my personal nirvana which was reading
a lot and occasionally bestirring myself to go hunt down a beer.
Mary took this opportunity to try out seemingly every spa treatment
available.
A lot of the evening shows didn't appeal to me
very much. On the plus side, DCL showed Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy which had just come out in theaters. I liked
that a lot. Of the other shows during the trip, well, I liked
Kermit the Frog and not a whole lot else.
The shows I didn't see included Boyz II Men (not
my musical tastes), The Golden Mickeys (I actually would
have liked to see this but it conflicted with Palo reservations,
and food trumps shows), Disney Dreams (too much pixie
dust for me - I did watch part of it on the in-stateroom TV)
and all of the shows with either comedians, magicians and/or
ventriloquists. I know that these all appeal to many people,
but they don't appeal to me a great deal, unless they're pitted
against each other in a death match - that I'd pay to see.
Also, since we had late (8:30) dinner seating,
we would have had to attend the shows at 6:30 each night. In
all honesty, unless we're very motivated, we don't care much
for shows before dinner, preferring to take our time getting
ready and enjoying a cocktail.
The Walt Disney Theater, home of the live shows
each evening, is very nice and has two snack bars, both of which
offer extensive snack selections, soft drinks and alcoholic
beverages. In addition to the main theater venue there were
a number of shows in smaller lounges featuring the abovementioned
magicians, comedians and ventriloquists, as well as various
musical acts.
In short, on any given night there was a plethora
of entertainment options, including at least two or three movie
showings. The Buena Vista Theater is hands down the best movie
theater I've seen on a cruise ship, with stadium seating, comfortable
chairs and a nice-sized screen. I would take a couple of points
off for lack of a snack bar adjacent to the movie theater, although
they did have a portable stand selling packaged popcorn, nuts,
M&Ms and cold drinks.
Conclusions
Overall, my impressions of Disney Cruise Line
were incredibly favorable. I had previously only been on Holland
America cruises. Even though the price of Disney cruises is
at a premium over HAL, I honestly expected that the overall
experience would be slightly less enjoyable. Instead I found
that the premium that DCL charges is well worth the money.
Disney's Magic is extremely attractive and is
better in my opinion than any of the Holland America ships we've
cruised on. Food is roughly comparable, with both lines trading
honors in this category. Service is overall much better on DCL
than HAL. The effort made to have the crew members interact
with the passengers has paid huge dividends in the type of experience
one encounters on DCL.
For families with children, DCL clearly offers
a superior product, from everything we heard and encountered.
The kids' programs and facilities are the best in the business.
To be fair, though, HAL does attract a much older demographic
and its shipboard facilities reflect this.
The choice of ports between the two lines is pretty
much equivalent and probably not worth tipping a decision if
all else is equal - with the definite exception of the private
island destinations. HAL's private island Half Moon Cay, while
pleasant, is not nearly as appealing and well-developed as Disney's
Castaway Cay.
Would I cruise again on Disney Cruise Line? In
a heartbeat. Even if I have to get a real job making real money.
I'm afraid Mary vetoed selling the dog for medical experiments.
|
 |
 |
|
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
Mike's
Cruise Diary
Saturday
Day 1
Ahh, waking up in the Wilderness Lodge -
what better way to start the day? Already the trip is
off to a good start. I survived the Magical
Express test yesterday, got my buffalo steak and smoked
wild mushroom soup at Artist Point for dinner last night,
and enjoyed a good night's sleep. Obviously boarding the
cruise ship will be a pleasant experience and fluffy birds
will fly through the air anointing us with perfume and
stuff, while smiling waiters will ply us with icy tropical
drinks.
Mary has gotten us a limo,
so alas, we'll miss the fun of the DCL shuttle bus to
the port. Just another reason I love this woman. Oh, and
the driver has spooled up The Incredibles on the
DVD player in the limo, just in case we had any kids along.
Mary mentioned we did - me.
I settle in and put my feet up to watch
the movie, though all is not unalloyed joy as Mary insists
that Heineken has not been recognized by the USDA as an
acceptable breakfast beverage. On the other hand she does
hold that champagne is perfectly acceptable for breakfast
since it is made from grapes - a fruit. It is one of the
few times where she defeats me with logic (as opposed
to all the times she beats me using bone-chilling terror).
We depart the Lodge about 9:30 and arrive
at the port about 10:30. On arrival at the terminal we
encounter the first setback. Only three porters are taking
baggage and they are mobbed by frantic repeat passengers
who know all the tricks about showing up early. They all
want to be first on the ship. To be fair, as Mary points
out, the number of people arriving early for this trip
is probably much higher than normal. There may have been
more luggage porters later in the day. (We will never
know, because by then we were comfortably ensconced onboard,
sipping fruity tropical beverages.)
By the time we enter the terminal it is
already jam-packed with drooling Disney fans. I am only
slightly frightened. We get in the Castaway Club (returning
passengers) line since Mary has been on a DCL cruise before.
The club line is much longer than the first-time cruiser
line, which gives some idea of the make-up of the cruise.
However the line moves quickly and we are soon checked
in and possessors of the little Key to the World cards
that are room keys and (more distressingly) our credit
cards for the trip. Everything onboard can be charged
to them.
After obtaining our papers we salute the
French customs agents and prepare to board the Pan Am
Clipper to Casablanca….. oh, wait, wrong movie. We
instead turn and fully confront the real line - the one
waiting to board the ship. At this point it is something
like 11:00 am and we think it's quite probable they are
not going to board till noon. There must be well over
a thousand people already standing in line. Seeing this
I state in my best take-charge tone of voice, "Uh-uh,
nope, I'm not going to stand there for the next couple
of hours. Ooh, café - look, a café."
As it turned out the café at the
end of the terminal did not sell beer, so we're now up
to two strikes against Disney. Strangely enough, although
admittedly there isn't much seating, the place is completely
empty except for the two Cast Members selling drinks and
snacks. We decide we'll just hang out in the café
until boarding starts and the line diminishes. Why stand
for an hour when we can sit and have a fairly bad coffee?
So we spend probably close to an hour having
a pleasant conversation with the Disney folks as well
as another bright couple who also have no desire to stand
in line. As expected, DCL starts boarding the ship at
noon. We sit for probably fifteen minutes or so sipping
coffee when one of the Cast Members running the snack
bar offers to take the four of us over and pop us into
the head of the line. We pondered this offer for 7 or
possibly 8 nanoseconds and agree enthusiastically.
(Mary later confessed that she didn't dare
look back to see how many people we were cutting in line
ahead of, but I did. It was around 800-900 people. Whee!
Oh, on reflection I felt a little guilt, but then I got
over it. It isn't like we asked to cut in line. Nor did
we get access to much of anything on the ship any earlier
than anyone else. At least, that's what I tell myself.
It gets me through the night.)
After having our first photo of the cruise
taken, we are announced on board, which I think is a nice
touch, and then each given a free drink. I am confused
as I start digging out my card to pay for the drinks,
but the waiter wanders away before I can hand it to him.
Apparently unlike HAL, the welcome drinks are free and
also unlike HAL they apparently do have real alcohol in
them (as opposed to the mock alcohol HAL puts in their
Sail Away cocktails).
Sipping our drinks, we wander around the
ship checking out the appointments and trying to find
where the food is. We happen on Parrot Cay, but it is
already quite crowded, so we go upstairs (or whatever
the nautical term is) to Topsiders, the buffet restaurant,
where we have a perfectly good Sail Away buffet. Why this
is a Sail Away buffet when we aren't going to be moving
for another 4-5 hours is a mystery to me.
We spend another hour or so exploring the
ship and then wander down to check out our room. Three
of our four bags have already shown up by the time we
get there and the last arrives soon after we settle in.
Mary starts reading through the voluminous documentation
for the trip while I investigate the bed from a supine
position.
Sail-away is the usual party hour with lots
of loud music on deck and more drinks, though we have
to pay for these. We get unpacked and go to dinner. Our
tablemates are pleasant (DCL only has tables for 4, 6,
8 and 10 - no private tables for couples, unlike HAL)
and we have a fine meal. Since we got up early and are
now settled in, we decide to call it an early night. We
head back to the room after dinner and relax on our verandah.
Day 2
Sunday
It's our first full day on board and we
find ourselves at Castaway Cay, DCL's private resort island.
The resort is exclusively for guests from the Disney cruise
ships, and a nice island it is. Unlike the equivalent
facility for HAL, DCL has invested the money to build
a wharf where its ships can dock, so there is no need
to tender (transfer from ship to shore by small boat).
There is a permanent staff on the island that does maintenance
and gets everything ready for the passengers. The island
staff is fleshed out with crew members from the ship.
Castaway Cay includes a central complex
with shops and the main restaurant (an outdoor facility
with buffet barbeque dining) and a play area where kids
can dig for bones (the dinosaur kind, I think). Near the
dock is the family beach and some small docks from which
the water sports and activity craft are launched. Further
out on the island is the adult beach, which also has its
own dining area and bar. There are quite a lot of activities
available, ranging from snorkeling to bicycling or kayaking
through the mangrove swamps.
Mary has decided that marriage isn't enough
of a challenge. She feels we need to do something that
entails significant physical risk, with a payback of nothing
more then short term excitement. My kinda gal. So we decide
to go with parasailing, a 'sport' that neither of us has
been drunk enough to try before. The only problem is that
we are scheduled for a 9:00 am trip, and even for me that's
a bit early to tie one on, so I have to do it cold sober.
Castaway Cay is really the only place I
can envision trying this activity. I figure if something
goes wrong I (or my heirs) can sue the pants off Disney,
a large American corporation. By contrast, the odds of
something going wrong at the same type of operation in
Mexico probably go up astronomically and in inverse proportion
to my chances of recovering significant amounts of filthy
lucre from some "two men and a boat" parasailing
company.
So we go parasailing. We like it - a lot.
Even cold sober. I'd do it again in a minute.
After tempting fate, facing death down,
risking everything on a roll of the cosmic dice, we go
shopping. It turns out that on Castaway Cay I buy the
only non-consumable (read non-alcoholic) item of Disney
gear that I will purchase during the entire trip - a hat.
I'm wearing it now. I has a map of the island along with
the latitude and longitude, something I'm sure will be
handy when lost and drunk in Cabo - I can point at it
and slur, "Dude, I need to get back here, man."
We later find out that we have been extremely
delinquent in our Disney purchasing duties. On Day Three
of the cruise we hear through the grapevine - which consists
of a random couple we are seated with at lunch - that
some dastardly folks (i.e. people who sell Disney stuff
on eBay or somewhere) completely cleaned out the stocks
of t-shirts specially made for the cruise within a hour
or so of the shops onboard ship being opened.
I salute the entrepreneurial spirit of those
brave pioneers and also snicker at them under my breath,
because later in the week DCL, bowing to the collective
rage of the hordes denied their Constitutional right to
buy a souvenir t-shirt, guarantees that everyone who wants
one can simply order the shirts and have them delivered
once we get home. So those people who didn't scarf up
all the t-shirts on Day One are able to amble on home
with considerably lighter bags, while the t-shirt collectors
find their hard won and heavy merchandise declining in
value precipitously. Ah, the unfairness of it all.
But back to Castaway Cay. Clutching my one
and only piece of Disney paraphernalia, I suggest we go
check out the adult beach. This entails either walking
a half mile or taking a tram. We decide to go with the
lazier of the two options, as is our wont. The beach is
quite nice and I snorkel while Mary reads. It turns out
that servers wander by regularly selling ice cold beers,
making this my favorite beach ever.
After awhile we decide we're hungry. The
adult dining area is full, so we wander back to the central
area next to the family beach to check out the buffet.
Many grilled meat products are available and the tribe
is happy. They even have Caesar salad for the more metrosexual
of the tribe's members. I found it quite tasty.
After lunch we decide to meander out to
the Heads Up Bar, on a spit overlooking the family beach.
There's a great view of the docked ship from here. We
enjoy a couple of frosty beverages in a pleasant breeze.
Finally a last beer is consumed on shore and we reluctantly
board the ship, saying farewell to an enjoyable day in
the sun.
Overall Disney's private island is considerably
better than the similar facility that Holland America
maintains. First, there are no tenders to contend with.
Second, the overall facilities are more attractive and
the beaches are considerably better as far as appearance
and available activities are concerned. Finally, the barbeque
buffet offered by HAL was not one I'd bother with again
(I would instead go back on board for lunch). By contrast,
the DCL barbeque was quite good and I would do it again.
Day 3
Monday
A sea day with no port visits. My favorite.
I know I'm in the minority here, but I prefer spending
my cruise onboard the ship I'm overpaying for. Port visits
usually hold little attraction for me, but we often end
up going ashore unless there's a compelling reason against
it, just because it seems to be expected and I'm a sheep.
At lunch we run into a couple Mary has previously
met at a Club 33 event. We have a really nice time talking
to them and the upshot is that we end up moving to a different
seating rotation in order to join them at their table.
Their family of 5 has been seated at a table for 8, so
there's plenty of room for us. Disney is remarkably accommodating
and efficient about moving us.
Meanwhile, the undercurrents that we have
heard about in hushed whispers in the hallways and dark
corners of the ship's hold have bubbled to the surface
in a frothy maelstrom of violence that results in the
ship's officers arming the crew and standing off the enraged
passengers as they storm the bridge demanding more…
pins.
Well, that's possibly a little hyperbole,
but I have always wanted the chance to use maelstrom in
an article - and there it is. So there was something about
pins - or not something about pins - can't get pins -
want more pins. Something, something, blah, blah, blah.
I don't collect pins. Mary doesn't collect pins. We don't
care about pins. However, pins became THE topic of discussion
among a certain segment of the passengers that pretty
much consumed the rest of the cruise.
Apparently DCL planned to offer a number
of different limited edition pins just for this cruise.
Unfortunately Disney did not offer enough pins of each
type to ensure that each and every passenger could buy
one, not to mention get one for their sister, their aunt,
their office coworkers, their favorite dental hygienist,
and most especially for some people, their eBay businesses.
The plan was that one pin would be released
each day. During a certain one-hour period the pin collectors
could get a voucher that would let them buy an actual
pin later in the day. So see where this is going?
Naturally some people started lining up
hours in advance of the release of the vouchers. So other
people started lining up even earlier. Eventually I think
some people just got in line for the next pin as soon
as they bought the first one. For the first few days of
the cruise there were seemingly perpetual lines that most
alarmingly blocked me off from my favorite watering hole
of the day.
Anyhow, by the third day someone in authority
grew tired of the insistent and childish whining about
not being able to get a beer in Sessions and decided to
put all the remaining pins on sale in a one-time winner-takes-all
grudge match. Well, that was one of my fantasies - I also
voted for throwing them off the back of the ship and daring
the REAL pin collectors to dive in and retrieve them before
they sank into the watery abyss.
Actually DCL announced that the remaining
pins would be released at 8:00 am on Day Four of the cruise.
As we learned later, people began lining up for the release
as soon as the announcement was made on Night Three, so
that night there were several hundred people paying $200
or more for the privilege of sleeping on the floor.
|
|
Photo Courtesy
Danilo & Ann Viazzo
|
If Disney could bottle whatever it is they
put in the water they could rule the world. Ah, as Mary
reminds me, apparently they already do.
Day 4
Tuesday
Another sea day. Ahh, bliss.
We hit Palo for brunch, and quite a nice
brunch it is, with all kinds of goodies like crab claws,
cold peel-and-eat shrimp, antipasti, fruit, cheese, bread,
salad - and that's before you order your actual meal.
We probably would have enjoyed it even more if someone
(Mary) had not forgotten that we had brunch reservations
until after we had already finished breakfast in Topsiders.
But trust Mary to find the silver lining. She suggested
we not think of it as breakfast, but rather as pre-brunch
- in other words, a tune-up for the main event in a couple
of hours. And people wonder why I married her. Well, actually
no, I lie, they often wonder what she's doing with me,
but that's usually after my fifth or sixth beer of the
morning.
Anyhow, brunch was delicious and the atmosphere
was very pleasant. We later had the opportunity to go
to a second brunch, because it seems that people on with
concierge service (those staying in Category 1, 2 or 3
suites) can make almost unlimited reservations for brunch
and dinner at Palo. Since Mary had friends who were in
a suite (who now became my friends, only in part because
they could get additional reservations at Palo) we were
invited along for a second brunch later in the cruise.
It was just as good as the first - or actually better
since the second time we skipped "pre-brunch."
As an aside, we were able to pre-book Palo
reservations (one dinner, one brunch and one afternoon
tea) in advance through the Romantic
Escape at Sea add-on to our cruise. That was fortunate
for us - since our sailing had so many adults traveling
without kids, Palo reservations were all booked very quickly.
However, shortly before our cruise sailed, DCL rolled
out online pre-booking of Palo reservations, so now it's
possible for anyone to grab a reservation early. I highly
recommend marking your calendar and pre-booking Palo as
soon as the reservations open up for your cruise. Palo
is very popular and once guests find out about the pre-booking
option, we suspect it will be impossible to make a reservation
once you're on the ship.
Day 5
Wednesday
We arrive in Curaçao, a port that
neither we nor DCL have ever visited before. It's much
prettier than the average Caribbean port, with lots of
brightly painted buildings and brightly sunburned Dutch
people on vacation.
Mary has engaged a private sailboat through
a company called Pro-Sail
for a little tour of the island and some snorkeling. They
come out to the ship and pick us up, then drive us all
the way to the other end of the island, which provides
a nice overview. It's a pretty island.
As it turns out, we are apparently on Curaçao
during the one day of the year when there is no actual
wind. I have to salute our skipper, a young Dutch man
who is interning at Pro-Sail. He manages to take advantage
of even the slightest breeze to make some progress but
alas, even with his considerable skills we are unable
to visit as much of the island as we had hoped. On the
other hand we do get to partake in some excellent snorkeling
across from the private Santa Barbara beach, on a wonderful
coral reef that we have all to ourselves. Mary thoroughly
enjoys her first experience of snorkeling even when I
sneak up behind her and shout "Sea Spiders! Swim
for your life!"
Although we had hoped to spend a little
time visiting the town, the lack of wind delays us to
such an extent that we are forced to forgo any shopping
and hustle back to the ship. I'm told there are some nice
Dutch imports to be had on Curaçao, and I am a
little sad about missing out on buying a big wheel of
extra-aged gouda. Because you know, they just weren't
feeding us enough on the ship.
As the ship prepares to depart we stand
on our verandah and see hundreds of Curaçao residents,
including many children, lining the railings along the
pier. They are all frantically waving and yelling "goodbye."
At first we think this is a charming custom in this part
of the Caribbean and we wave back, but eventually we realize
Captain Mickey is up on Deck Ten waving to the crowds.
Apparently we aren't the target of all the enthusiasm
- though we still think it's great to see all the kids
having such a good time. Finally, with a few toots of
"When you wish upon a star" from the ship's
horn, we sail off toward the coast of South America.
Tonight we decide to attend the show in
the main theater for the first time. Well, it's not a
show per se but a screening of Hitchhiker's Guide to
the Galaxy. This movie massages my inner geek so it
is a must-do. The humor (as in the books) is quite British
and I always like that.
Day 6
Thursday
A sea day again. Mary has a massage scheduled
but I have nothing so ambitious on my schedule. Well,
high tea in Palo, but again that's Mary's doing. It is
fine, though not as ambitious as the high tea we enjoyed
in Tokyo at the Park Hyatt, and not nearly as good as
Palo's brunch.
Other than that, I spend the day reading
and trying to get on the Internet. This is the day when
I start jonesing for my Net fix. There are a grand total
of 14 Internet terminals onboard and DCL still has no
wi-fi system available. [Note: as of August 2005, both
Disney ships now have wi-fi in public areas.] So some
1700 people, a large proportion of whom apparently are
reporting or trying to report the minute-by-minute happenings
onboard to the people back home who couldn't take the
cruise, are all trying to get online on just over a dozen
terminals. Plus, you can only use the terminals to check
e-mail and visit web sites. It's basically impossible
to upload or download files from the Disney cruise ships,
and you can't hook up your own laptop to their system.
Other cruise lines (specifically Carnival
and its subsidiaries, including Holland America and Cunard)
have responded to the demand for high-speed Internet by
installing wireless access in all staterooms and selected
"hot spots" throughout their ships. This allows
guests to log in from their own laptops, which provides
much more flexibility, such as the ability to upload and
download files.
The Internet plan options offered by DCL
are only adding to the difficulty in getting access to
a terminal. You can pay .75 per minute or buy an "unlimited"
plan (flat rate of $179.99 for 14 days) that supposedly
is only for use by one person, but in reality is almost
always shared by everyone in a particular stateroom. (In
fact, we have both tried to register for the unlimited
plan, and the system won't allow it. It will only let
us create one account for our stateroom.) The unlimited
plan pays for itself after four hours of connection time,
which is easy enough to rack up over the course of 14
days, particularly with two or more people sharing. Naturally
most passengers have chosen the unlimited option - and
now have no incentive to get off the terminal once they
finally get a chance to log in. So there are people on
the same terminal for hours at a time, while others are
waiting in line to do a quick 10-minute check of their
e-mail.
Somewhere around Tuesday Mary appeared to
be in such a state from Internet withdrawal that I thought
she might harm herself or others (like me), so I suggested
in an insistent and only slightly quavering voice that
she schedule herself for another massage to relieve the
tension. I would have suggested heavy drinking but that's
my particular escape from reality and I'm loath to share
it with others. Besides, I need someone to drive.
Anyhow it's been almost a week and the closest
I've been to a computer has been Mary's laptop, which
doesn't agree with me for some reason. I'm a self-taught
typist so I don't address the keys the same as those who
have more formal typing skills. For some reason I always
manage to do something with my fingers when typing on
her laptop that causes the computer to shut down immediately
in frustration. I'm not sure what the magical finger combination
is, but I apparently can reproduce it every 2-3 sentences,
making it difficult to actually write anything. I'm going
to go and buy my own laptop after this cruise with the
patented Fisher Price My First Computer Keyboard (for
Ages 2-55).
(I finally did get on the Internet, but
not until we reached Acapulco.)
Day 7
Friday
Huzzah, it's our fifth wedding anniversary.
We also pass through the Panama Canal today. And we have
reservations for dinner at Palo.
The Canal is just one impressive piece of
engineering. It's even more impressive if one reads The
Path Between the Seas by David McCullough,
a truly excellent account of the creation of the Canal.
We spend a significant part of the day on our verandah
enjoying the journey through the Canal. It is really one
of the highlights of the trip, at least for us.
Mary, usually a late sleeper, surprises
me by getting up very early and going out on the verandah
to watch us starting into the Canal. Eventually I roll
my tired carcass out of bed and join her, just in time
to pass through the first set of locks.
Passing through the Canal involves multiple
steps. First the ship goes through a series of gravity-fed
locks that take it up about 85 feet above sea level. Then
the ship sails through Lake Gatún, which takes
about 5 hours, and then through an 8-mile-long canal called
the Gaillard Cut. A single lock takes the ship down to
Miraflores Lake. The ship sails about 1 1/2 miles across
that lake, and then two additional locks bring it back
down to sea level. It sails out another 8 miles, passes
through the Bay of Panama, and arrives in the Pacific
Ocean.
The Disney Magic is a Panamax ship, meaning
it is the maximum size that can fit through the Panama
Canal. In order to keep the ship centered, small locomotives
called "mules" are attached by cables on each
side. It's a tight squeeze, with only a couple of feet
to spare on either side of the ship. In fact, the Magic
scrapes the side of the canal at one point, removing a
little paint.
After we pass out of the Canal, we're treated
to some excellent views of Panama City. We're both surprised
at what a huge place it is, full of high-rises that are
clearly visible from the ship.
So we've got Palo reservations for dinner,
and we also have a romantic turndown for our room (part
of the Romantic Escape at
Sea package) which appears to consist of some rose
petals scattered on the sheets, a mysterious towel animal,
and more chocolates, because we haven't been eating enough
chocolate already. I let Mary pick all the rose petals
off the sheets before I alight because that's just the
kind of thoughtful guy I am. And while she's doing it
I can scarf down the chocolates.
For once, I've managed to find presents
for Mary that indicate I've invested a little forethought
rather than picking something up at the Loaf and Jug down
at the corner of 24th and Manitou Ave. That works out
especially well because Mary feels guilty about not getting
me anything for the anniversary (apparently a $6500 two-week
cruise does not count), thus granting me one get-out-of-jail-free
card. These are worth more than their weight in gold because
it is inevitable that sooner or later (and usually sooner)
I'll do something so monumentally dumb that only possession
of said card will save me from sleeping on the floor of
the garage.
Palo is, as usual, excellent. Compared to
the equivalent specialty restaurant on the last HAL cruise
we took, the food at Palo is as good if not better and
the service is immeasurably superior. Mary gets her lobster
cravings satisfied for at least a couple of days and I
have a superb pan seared tuna that is perfectly prepared.
Watching the moon over the Pacific Ocean
from our verandah as we sip champagne makes for a pretty
good conclusion to our first fifth anniversary. Not that
I intend to have other fifth anniversaries, mind you.
Nope, just one for me, thank you very much.
Day 8
Saturday
We've been on the Magic for a week now.
Seems like we only boarded a day or two ago. I'm perfectly
content to spend my days reading and occasionally bestirring
myself to go to yet another meal. Do they never end?
Mary, on the other hand, denied her regular
and somewhat obsessive access to the Internet, has almost
run through all her books. Now you have to realize that
we brought on board one entire suitcase devoted to nothing
but books. We could be regarded as somewhat voracious
readers.
In any case Mary is starting to get low
on reading materials and is feeling a need for self improvement.
I encourage her to start attending the lectures about
various Disney-fan subjects. I just want to make sure
she doesn't start trying to disturb the comfortable rhythm
of eating, reading and drinking beer I've established.
The talks occupy her for a short while and
then she scores an open Internet terminal and is soon
immersed in the arcana of Disney. I breathe a sigh of
relief and go back to my books and beers.
Day 9
Sunday
Another at-sea day. We've scored a second
brunch reservation at Palo by sucking up to friends of
Mary's. This is why I love her, for the opportunity to
take advantage of her friends. Ann and Danilo are kind
enough to invite us along on one of their reservations
and afterwards show us around their Category 3 suite,
which is really nice.
As I point out to Mary later, when we next
travel on a Disney cruise ship I feel we could easily
justify a suite for ourselves if we just skip dental care
for the next four or five years. I think it would make
an acceptable trade-off but I sense some resistance on
Mary's part that I will have to work on.
Along with most of the other live shows
we skip this evening's scheduled entertainment: The Bumblesquats.
From listening to others around us the next day it appears
that we have been spared a most unpopular event. This
sounds like a show that should probably be on top of the
chopping block, but as we didn't attend it our opinion
will have to be omitted.
Day 10
Monday
We arrive in sunny, festive Acapulco, where
we are greeted by a band, dancers and stilt walkers on
the dock. That's fun to watch for a few minutes, but we
haven't planned on doing anything in town since we have
spent quite enough time in Mexico after living for such
a long time in San Diego.
So we hide out on the ship and take advantage
of the quiet and lack of crowds on deck to laze around,
even though we've done nothing over the last week that
could be in any way, shape, or form construed as work,
or even minimal physical activity. Well, at least we've
performed no activities other than raising a fork or beer
to our mouths.
We actually do get off the ship briefly
to check out the tourist and souvenir shops in the dockside
shopping center. As we expect, most of the merchandise
consists of the same stuff we could and did buy in Tijuana
over the years. We take a quick spin around the little
park by the port, fending off a few dozen eager taxi drivers
who desperately want to take us on a city tour, and get
back onboard after spending a grand total of 30 minutes
on land.
Once again our departure is marked by cheering
crowds, including many children who are thrilled to see
Mickey and Minnie. At one point the characters go down
on the dock to wave and blow kisses to the enthusiastic
throng - great PR for Disney. In the evening we sail out
into the bay and anchor there for several hours. The lights
of Acapulco and the full moon shining on the water all
add up to a fantastic view. This evening is the "Pirates
in the Caribbean" party, which includes an excellent
fireworks display blasted from the ship.
Day 11
Tuesday
At sea. Another fun-filled and relaxing
day.
We skip the evening show in favor of a movie
in the Buena Vista Theater, because we can't be called
huge Boyz II Men fans. Or even somewhat mediocre and apathetic
fans. We also decide to pass on 70's Disco Night in Rockin'
Bar D. We both lived through that once and have no desire
to revisit those days and nights of horror and polyester
shirts ever again.
Day 12
Wednesday
Hey, another sunny, festive Mexican port
- Mazatlan this time. Sadly it's a very unprepossessing
locale since we're tied up at the container port. One
look from our verandah pretty much squashes any desire
on our part to visit scenic Mazatlan. Mary has been here
on a previous cruise and says she doesn't feel any need
to explore it further.
As it turns out, by staying on the ship
we have an opportunity to witness the rather interesting
crew boat drill. Each of the lifeboats on the port side
of the ship is loaded with a few crew members and then
lowered into the water, driven around the bay in a big
arc, and then raised back into position. We find it quite
fun to watch from our verandah, which happens to be right
next to the lifeboats, but then again we're geeks.
The second "celebrity" show of
the cruise is scheduled for this evening. Well, third
if you count the one with Joey Fatone, but we don't, so
there. This time it was Kermit with the musical stylings
of Bob Saget. Quite an operatic tenor, that boy.
Oh, not really. The Muppets did some video
captures from around the ship and a sing-along with the
crew that was actually quite pleasing. Saget did a bunch
of jokes about his ex-wife, his kids and his fellow actors
from his former television show. He also performed a little
family-friendly musical number called "Danny Tanner
was not gay." Actually I found his jokes very mild
but apparently some people were unhappy with the ribaldry
of the show. What can I say, if you find naked frogs offensive,
you probably shouldn't watch the Muppets.
Day 13
Thursday
Will this voyage of the damned never end?
Oh, hey, yet another sunny, festive Mexican port. It's
Cabo San Lucas this time, a place where I've actually
vacationed before.
For a change we schedule an excursion at
Cabo, consisting of a trip on a catamaran to a "secluded
cove" where we can snorkel for a half-hour before
voyaging back to the ship. As advertised we journey to
the cove, which turns out to be full of sightseeing boats
blaring Mexican dance music and showing off the seclusion
to other tourists.
When we arrive at the cove I realize I've
made a mistake. It's been ten or twelve years since I
was last in Cabo, and as is the case for many vacations
I took during my bachelor days I am a little fuzzy on
details, possibly due to enthusiastic consumption of Pacifico
beers. I distinctly remember snorkeling off the beaches
around Cabo but can't exactly remember the temperature
of the water. Since I obviously enjoyed myself I have
assumed the water was a comfortable temperature, but this
probably does not take into account the antifreeze properties
inherent in drinking a large number of Pacificos.
Today's sober immersion in the water of
the secluded cove is something of a shock. The temperature
has to be only slightly above freezing. Well a little
higher then that, but it doesn't feel much warmer. As
is normally the case on the Pacific Coast, the water temperature
is quite a bit lower than most people will find comfortable.
And such is the case on this trip. Plus
the water is teeming with jellyfish (or so I'm told later).
Mary lasts around 5 minutes, the time it takes to swim
from the stern back to the bow where the ladder back up
onto the deck is located. I, taking advantage of a heavy
insulating layer of fat such as polar bears utilize -
not to mention a desire not to be a girly man and a determination
to get my money's worth out of the excursion - spend the
allotted 30 minutes in the water. The visibility is normal
for the Pacific Coast in spring - namely lousy. I manage
to see some of the sea life by blindly diving to the bottom
and then peering around owlishly until something indistinct
swims by.
On the trip back all is forgiven and painful
numbness in my extremities soon gives way to sunny warmth
and a feeling of friendship with my fellow man, fueled
by what appears to be all the beer you can drink. And
pretty good salsa and guacamole.
Our catamaran runs out of gas, necessitating
a truly impressive throw-and-catch routine in which the
crew of another boat tosses a full can of gasoline across
20 feet of churning ocean to the crew of our cat. More
beer is cheerfully handed around by our excellent crew
and by the time we arrive back at the ship I am warm and
happy and badly in need of a bathroom because the ones
onboard the catamaran have become non-functional soon
after we start our return.
Since Cabo does not have a dock for big
cruise ships, we are anchored out in the harbor and have
to take tenders (small boats) between the ship and the
port. After we get back on the ship we realize it is slowly
turning in circles. Mary notices this first and I try
to convince her she's losing her mind, but eventually
I have to admit we're moving. After a couple of hours
of making 360s (affording us some spectacular views of
the harbor and Paul Allen's giant yacht Tatoosh in the
process), the captain announces the anchor is stuck.
We end up departing a couple of hours late
and the ship seems to be listing for a little while. Speculation
is that the anchor had to be cut loose and ballast taken
on to counter the lost weight on that side... but that's
speculation.
To cap off the day we attend a live show
in the main theater: the world premiere of Twice Charmed,
a show revisiting the Cinderella story. The wicked stepsisters
come back for Round 2 and they're mad as hell. Or something.
Well, the production values were quite good. There were
several pyro explosions, which I always enjoy. Although
neither the story nor the music appealed to me, most of
the audience appeared to enjoy it a lot.
Day 14
Friday
Ah, the last day of the voyage. Too soon
we will have to leave the life of sloth and indolence
behind and I'll have to go back to housework.
We spend a quiet day in contemplation and
anxiety, anticipating with great terror the bill. As we
fear, it's high enough to justify either selling the dog
for medical experiments - or much more horrible yet, me
getting a job that pays real money.
We relax and revisit our favorite places
onboard. I have a last cigar at the Cove Café.
Mary obsessively starts packing starting at 7:00 am. I
have a beer or three at Sessions. Mary continues to pack
through lunch. I take a nap. Mary breaks down in tears
as she realizes there is another four hours of packing
left after dinner.
Day 15
Saturday
Los Angeles, City of Angels. Gloomy, as
it normally is in the morning this time of year. A couple
of tugboats accompany us into the port, spraying water,
but other than that our arrival is pretty low-key.
Debarkation is relatively painless. We go
to breakfast in the dining room assigned the night before
and wait till our group is called. We never actually hear
| |
